getmygoat

I’ll bet you thought I meant Christmas, didn’t you? Well I didn’t. To be honest, Christmas has too much baggage and family drama attached to it, and I don’t much care for it at all.

My favorite holidays are in the fall. Halloween may well be the best; it encourages everyone to be someone ELSE for a day and eat lots of junk food. What could be better?

Thanksgiving! It’s the often-overlooked holiday devoted to football and gluttony, and I can hardly wait!

But back to Halloween. I think my generation needs to revive the masquerade ball. When did this holiday turn into nothing more than an excuse to dress up like a whore? I don’t have anything against whores, mind you, but there should be an art to costuming. There should be some humor and some thought in it.

I want to break out a ball gown that requires special underwear! I want a sparkly mask with feathers on it! And I want to be able to wear it again on Mardi Gras (another favorite holiday which has turned into little more than an excuse to get drunk and flash people).

This is not a cry for a return to conservatism (I’m always skeptical of people who talk about the Golden Years or the Good Ol’ Days). It’s a cry to make this time of year a little classier, and a little more interesting.

Then again, my goat and I aren’t quite ready to give up on our slasher films and haunted houses just yet. Perhaps we can devise a way to make it all come together…

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