Feb 20 2009
A Terrible Time to be Young
I said it. Now is the worst time to be a twenty-something college graduate. I’ve been unemployed for a year, and I’m beginning to get desperate (not desperate enough to sell my body or work for Wal-Mart - I still have my principles). I’ve been thinking about the best ways to make my skills marketable.
I could tutor, proofread, edit, etc. Jobs like that are a dime a dozen, though, so it’s hard to make myself stand out. I could cut out the middle man and just write the papers for money, but again, I have my principles. How can I make money from my skills without abandoning my ethics?
A friend of mine jokingly suggested lap-dance tutoring. Although this idea is hilarious and far-fetched, I wonder if he’s not on the right track. My goat and I were considering some ways we could combine our skills with existing occupations.
Some seem more run-of-the-mill than others:
- tutor/nanny (Too average? Let’s move along then.)
- proofreader/office fish feeder & plant waterer (Have you SEEN some of these office memos?)
- proofreader/housekeeper (I’ll check your homework during the spin cycle!)
- tutor/professional driver (Give me the rundown on the way home from school, and I’ll try to explain the errors before we hit the driveway.)
- editor/bookseller (I fixed all the mistakes in this e.e. cummings book!)
- editor/party planner (If you party enough to need someone to plan it for you, you MUST need someone to look over your work…)
- tutor/dog agility trainer (This just sounds like fun.)
- editor/beekeeper (What? I’ve always wanted bees! Why not combine my passions?)
No, this will not do at all. Perhaps instead I should begin a campaign of vigilante proofing. I see spelling and grammatical errors everywhere I go. Perhaps I should carry a red pen to correct their ways, then demand discounts at these various, barely literate establishments.
Perhaps I should just pack it in and realize that I probably won’t use the skills I learned as an English major until I have completed at least one graduate degree. Academia is fun, and it provides a neat little excuse for being unemployed (since old people don’t generally accept my response of “Are you serious? Have you looked at the economy lately?”). I’ll try the job hunt dance again in about six years or so.
